Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We're too hungover to prance.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
