This dress was meant to end up on your floor
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
