I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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