I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Randomize
