My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
