So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
