she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
