Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
