The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
