My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
