Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
