Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Randomize
