...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
