i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
