It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I wish they made helmets for livers.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
So many bounce houses so little time
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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