peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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