What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
