Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
