So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
