does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
