how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It's rum buckets o'clock
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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