where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
