he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
