hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
