To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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