I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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