I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
