Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
