CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
