you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
