There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
