Sponge bath it is.
Please, let me fuck your mom
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
