I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
