woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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