dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
