dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize