Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I wish there were birth control emojis
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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