Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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