dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
