I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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