Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
