I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
