i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
