If i come over, it means nothing
just tell him i said nine months
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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