She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
