Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
