Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
