yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
