check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
