You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
