Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I cockslap morals
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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