it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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