I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
