dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
