Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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