it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
