Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
