You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
