That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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