If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Blood and glitter go together right?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
