...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Life is so much better after having sex.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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