I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize