Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
